I was absolutely uncertain even on the final night prior to my entering the seminary i.e. Initiation Year or IY. There were so many things in my mind ranging from fear to excitement, not being able to pin-point the exact feeling or even how I should feel or for that matter, how a seminarian should feel before stepping onto unfamiliar grounds.
Whatever the feeling may be, the decision has been made and that after undergoing two years of spiritual direction with two separate priest, the many conversations I had with two close seminarian friends of mine about my vocation, and the many community masses I had attended and a short sojourn at the diocesan formation house, have all come to this.
This very first step I feel is the most important one to bring myself to another phase of commitment in my discernment. The whole process of initial discernment from the first time I attended a vocation weekend camp to my short stay with the Jesuits in Singapore and the spiritual direction would come to absolute nothing if I did not make a decision on how I would further proceed. A decision has to be made, either I take the plunge or do I make a firm decision not to proceed further and to remain in the secular world. Deep down inside, I had made a decision to proceed with my discernment but it was extremely difficult for me to implement the decision taken as I procrastinate on the whole matter giving unnecessary excuses.
Nevertheless, I believe with the guidance of the Holy Spirit and encouragement and support from unlikely people, I took myself by surprise and put the whole process into motion. Requesting for the application form from the Rector, undergoing a full medical check-up, and meeting the local ordinary on three different occasion kind of sealed the whole process and it was a matter of allowing the local ordinary to make the final decision. After waiting for three weeks, the day came when I was to receive news on my application and it was positive and the 'ball' was left to me either for me to kick it back or to take it and 'play' along.
There were some even priests who were apprehensive that I would take the plunge considering my age, years of working experiences and time spent in the secular world, but eventually the day came and I made preparations to enter. With the air-ticket and 2 luggage I made my way to the airport and after bidding farewell to my parents I was off and that 28th January 2013 was the day I came knocking on the door of the formation house asking God whether He would permit me to enter and be formed accordingly to His will.
Whatever the feeling may be, the decision has been made and that after undergoing two years of spiritual direction with two separate priest, the many conversations I had with two close seminarian friends of mine about my vocation, and the many community masses I had attended and a short sojourn at the diocesan formation house, have all come to this.
This very first step I feel is the most important one to bring myself to another phase of commitment in my discernment. The whole process of initial discernment from the first time I attended a vocation weekend camp to my short stay with the Jesuits in Singapore and the spiritual direction would come to absolute nothing if I did not make a decision on how I would further proceed. A decision has to be made, either I take the plunge or do I make a firm decision not to proceed further and to remain in the secular world. Deep down inside, I had made a decision to proceed with my discernment but it was extremely difficult for me to implement the decision taken as I procrastinate on the whole matter giving unnecessary excuses.
Nevertheless, I believe with the guidance of the Holy Spirit and encouragement and support from unlikely people, I took myself by surprise and put the whole process into motion. Requesting for the application form from the Rector, undergoing a full medical check-up, and meeting the local ordinary on three different occasion kind of sealed the whole process and it was a matter of allowing the local ordinary to make the final decision. After waiting for three weeks, the day came when I was to receive news on my application and it was positive and the 'ball' was left to me either for me to kick it back or to take it and 'play' along.
There were some even priests who were apprehensive that I would take the plunge considering my age, years of working experiences and time spent in the secular world, but eventually the day came and I made preparations to enter. With the air-ticket and 2 luggage I made my way to the airport and after bidding farewell to my parents I was off and that 28th January 2013 was the day I came knocking on the door of the formation house asking God whether He would permit me to enter and be formed accordingly to His will.
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